An Open Letter to...Myself

Dear Lisette,

You need to stop hating yourself.

For all your emotions, your brokeness, the idols you worship, the lies you cling onto, you are not unworthy of love.

Yes, I went there.

I know you're tired of hurting and feeling out of control. I know you're tired of going through the exact same thing again and again because of your own bad choices. I know the way you cringe when you see yourself offering sacrifices to your idols. I know it makes you want to break things when you realize you still haven't moved on.

You hate yourself for being so scared. You hate yourself for not opening up and letting anyone into your heart. You hate yourself for running away not only from your problems, but your dreams as well. You hate yourself for not even trying make good choices with your life. You hate yourself for giving up.

You want to get over everything. You want to get over that one boy that made it his personal mission to embarrass and make you feel ugly for all of middle school. You want to get over the opportunities you missed out on in school because you stopped trying. You want to get over losing friends who you thought would be your family for the rest of your life. You want to get over wanting to cry all the time because you never feel whole. You want to get over being afraid to go to sleep at night because you're going to remember how much you don't like your life right now.

Lisette, you need to stop hating yourself.

For all the terrible things you see, all of that is what makes you HUMAN. Do you think there isn't another person in the world who feels tired? No one else could possibly feel overwhelmed ? Could it really be that people in general haven't made bad choices of their own?

Do you really think everyone has it all together?

Everyone has a story, and every one of those stories is less than perfect. Your life is no different, so quit beating yourself up for not being "normal" like everyone else seems to be.

Man Lisette, do you know that when God looks at you, he smiles?  Not only that, but He SINGS?

The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing."

Zephaniah 3:17

Do you get that every time you chastise yourself, you break God's heart?
  

Picture a small child working on their math homework. Now imagine that same kid yelling at themselves and thinking they're stupid because they can't get it right. Now imagine if that was your own kid, your own flesh and blood that you would do anything for. Wouldn't you want to cry? What would you do? What would you say?

"Stop that. You're not stupid, you're still learning."
"But I can't get it! Everybody else is already moving on, but I'm stuck on this one page."
"It's okay that you're taking longer. Just take a breath and try again."
"But I've tried so many times. I'll never figure it out."
"Let me help you. We'll get it together."

Doesn't that sound so much like the conversations you have with God?

I get that your life isn't in the best place right now, and this really doesn't fix any of your problems, but knock it off. You make mistakes, you make poor decisions, you sin, and you cry when everything goes wrong. You're human, and God loves you anyway.

but God shows his love for us in that while we were still SINNERS, Christ DIED for us.

Romans 5:8

That's all there is to it.